Life Photo Frame

Today i wanna start our exhibition 2nd topic, The Characteristic of Healthy Love.

For those who having healthy characteristic they must consist of 20 aspect as following:

1. They allow for individuality.
This means that even without he/she beside you, you still able to do your work well. Not being too dependent to he/she as sometimes too much dependency, it will scared your partner. 2. They experience both oneness with and separateness from another.
A healthy relationship, they must able to adjust themselves. What i mean by adjusting is that they are able to enjoy their sweet moment together and be independent and do their job well when they are alone.
3. They bring out the best qualities in self and another.
Why does it say so? As you are having a girlfriend/boyfriend, you will definitely doing your best to show how meaningful he/she does to you right? So do her/him. Therefore, it will help you both to bring out what you can do best~!
4. They accept endings.
In a relationship, there is no guarantee nor warranty to ensure us that this relationship will last how long or even forever. (I not really trust in forever also, this old grandmother story has no longer work on me... Haha. ) Therefore, a healthy relationship must also included accept break up with peaceful heart. No matter how much your love to his/her, you must understand his/her feeling. If he/she has no longer loving you nor due to any other reason, there is no point you wanna force him/her to stay. Correct?
5. They experience both openness to change and exploration.
Besides, a couple that are in good terms of relationship must able to accept changes and both can develop new hobby, taste or even knowledge.
6. They invite growth in the other person.
This what we always said when someone is in love, their opinion is they are getting more mature in order to be capable to take care of their partners. So, in this concept, a couple must able to growth not their physical but mentally growth.
7. They experience true intimacy.
Sometimes, when people look at the word "intimacy", they will think of sexual activity. But in a healthy relationship, the true intimacy is that both of them are mentally sufficient on each other. They can feel each others love without a speech. They can trust each other and treat each other sincerely.
8. They feel the freedom to ask honestly for what is wanted.
Maybe some will said, it isn't so hard to ask what you want hnestly. However is certain condition, people may feel uncomfortble, or even don't dare to ask for what they want. Why? They are affraid~! Affraid of their partner's anger or unhappy. This is not a good syndrom. If you feel that you partners are having difficulty to tell you what they want honestly, you might have to think of how you treat him/her. ^@^
9. They experience giving and receiving n the same way.
This is what we used to say, give and take. In a relationship, we shall not be the only give or only take character. It's theory is just as same as a mines. If we only take out without put back, it will finished soon and what left after that is an empty hole. So, plaese be generous to your partner and yourself. Practise give and take theory.
10. They do not attempt to change and control the other.
Many people know this principle, do not change or control your partner if you really love him/her. However, only few of us can did it. Why, as we always think of our self ONLY. We always hope that he can be the one you want. But we never consider that he/she is already the one you loved~! You love the way he/she is therefore you go to him/her, am i right? So, let he/she be himself/herself, okay?
11. They encourage self-sufficiency of partners.
As he/she already did his/her best, be appreciate for what he/she did for you. Not everyone can love you so much, so be glad for what he/she sacrifice for you.
12. They accept limitations of self and other.
Non of us is perfect~! Remember this carefully and think of you own limitation. Now, think of his/her limitation. You both are actually having same problem... We are never perfect so stop blaming or even complaint for his/her limitation. Stop saying he didn't work hard so cannot get promoted nor she is not pretty enough like my friend's gf~! Must remember you have defects too. If can't accept, why still want own him/her?

SORRY, 13 to 16 i miss out... Will be back soooon...

17. They express feelings spontaneously.
For those who have difficulty to speak spontaneously, ask yourself why? Because you worry he/she will angry you? If you are in a healthy relationship, both shall express their feeling spontanouesly as you trust each other and it should it block you from telling him/her the truthness in you heart. So, think again... Can you?
18. They welcome closeness, risk vulnerability.
Every human being will go through argument time. No matter with parents, friends, teachers, siblings or even your partners, you should always welcome this. Why? Only people that can go through these hand in hand, their relationship can last long.
19. They care with detachment.
Detachment... Sometimes, people will feel that they have a hard time separated from their partners. As time past, they feel that it is hard to maintain distance love. However, a healthy love condition tells us that if you really do love him/her, you will care about him/her no matter where you are. Distance should not be an excuse for searching or even switching to other target.
20. They affirm equality and personal power of self and other.
Finally, both shall affirm equality. It means that you may not say that you can go out at night but your girlfriend cannot as you are boy. Or you say that you can look at other guys but your boyfriend cannot as girl are more straight to their lover.

This is the 20 characteristic of healthy love. So, i hope that it does help in building a better relationship for you all... ^^